Set in 1962, What I Was begins as Hilary is packed off to St Oswald's boarding school for boys deep within the plains of East Anglia.

There’s hope that St Oswald's will somehow transform Hilary into a more useful member of society as he’s been expelled twice before from other schools. Life for him is hard at St Oswald’s and is anything but happy for Hilary. Hilary hungers for new experiences far from the bleak halls, glares of authority, and taunts of his roommates. One afternoon, after stopping for a drink of water while jogging with his classmates along the coast, Hilary meets Finn. Self-sufficient and contented, Finn makes his living hauling boxes at the market. He has no parents; and he lives alone and doesn't go to school. In the government database, Finn doesn't actually exist. He lives in a small, cosy hut by the edge of the beach, with its floors free of sand, its worn cotton rugs and its crammed bookcases; the place is comfortable and intimate.

Soon, Hilary is becoming ever more obsessed with Finn as he attempts to escape both day and night from the daily rituals of St Oswald's, to spend time with his new friend, similarly envious of him. Hilary even begins to stalk Finn at the local market. Despite the cold weather, they spend their days walking and fishing and lying on the beach and staring at sunlit. Hilary becomes obsessed with Finn and studies his movements, learns his vocabulary and his clothes, and what he says and does. Most of all, Hilary wants to see himself through Finn's eyes. He wants to become Finn. They don’t fancy each other, although there is a great love here and soon Hilary becomes much more of a risk-taker, braving the school's nightly curfews to spend even more time with Finn.

Hilary’s friend Reese realizes he’s missing school more than usual and follows him on to the beach but gets caught in a deadly sand storm and dies while Finn and Hilary survive. Days later Hilary freaks out and runs away when he discovers Finn lying on his back in bed, sick with a fever and mysteriously covered in his own blood. But Finn does end up in hospital and Hilary goes there to see him. While there he realises Finn's a girl and to his shock he runs away. But it gets worse as Hilary is accused of murder and some other crimes. He is expelled from St Oswald’s and also he is then put on a two-year trial. But eventually he is cleared of all charges and never sees Finn again. Hilary for the rest of his life lives in the hut and becomes Finn.

I thought this book was not very good. I found it rather boring and also the ending really let me down as there was no real finishing to it. Also it was also written in first person which I don’t really like. I would not recommend it and I don’t know how it was a candidate for the Carnegie award.

Overall I would give it 3.5 out of 10.